


till the soil

by en passant (corinthian)



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, romance i suppose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-11-09 11:54:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11104074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corinthian/pseuds/en%20passant
Summary: “I trust you with my life, as careless and stupid as you act.”





	till the soil

**Author's Note:**

> Tilling the soil might the opposite of salting the earth.

The first time Reinhardtzar broaches the subject, he would have to admit, is not ideal. They’ve been traveling for weeks without docking and everyone was getting cabin fever. The airship had hit turbulence for three days straight and despite Rackham’s reassurance that he knew exactly what he was doing and it would be fine it had been rough going.

Cain, also, kept saying that it would be fine but despite being a general and well traveled himself, seemed to find the extended trip to not agree with him. Reinhardtzar funds him sitting below deck, deep in the ship’s lowest part, back against the firm wood frame.

“Air sick?” He asks, crossing his arms. “On deck to get some air is better than down here.”

“Eh~, I would say more that I’m doing some quality inspection of this ship.” Cain spreads his arms wide and then knocks on the wood. “Who knows if some vermin have taken to chewing through the hull or something! We have to be vigilant if we’re to be skyfaring. We have to do our part not to let the crew down too, see?”

“Afraid of admitting you’re less than steady on your legs right now?”

Cain’s not difficult to read. The more casual he presents something as, the heavier it is. 

“Aha, afraid? I think you’ve mistaken this for something else.”

And at that, Reinhardtzar leans down, scrutinizing Cain. It’s his own gesture — Cain’s flippancy is a deflection and Reinhardtzar’s inspection telling Cain he’s been seen right through.

“That is to say. . . there’s not quite like the earth beneath your feet, isn’t that right?” Cain finishes up, after Reinhardtzar stays silent.

“And, you’re avoiding me.” Reinhardtzar inserts, bluntly. “Didn’t take you for this much of a coward.”

“What reason would I have to avoid you? If anything you’re an inspiration — I’ve taken to jogging every morning because of you! I surely have a distance to go, but I can see the muscle tone has been increa—“

“Hey.” Reinhardtzar interrupts.

Cain’s smile wavers a little and for a moment they both are quiet. The wood around them creaks, the airship takes a soft turn, they can both feel the axis of the ship tilt and then glide. And they both know what the other is going to do — but Cain is one step ahead. Reinhardtzar opens his mouth to cut off another of Cain’s excuses, deflections, rambling sentences that aren’t quite lies, but are hardly the truth and Cain reaches up, one hand on each of Reinhardtzar’s horns. The unfamiliar weight cuts any words short.

“Hey,” Cain says. And then, to fill the silence, “Should we find out if the rest of you is just as well toned?”

Reinhardtzar’s response can only be a heavy sigh and he straightens up. Cain continues to hold onto his horns, lifted up onto his feet and then up higher into the air.

“Well, this is almost as good as being grounded! Thanks for your support as always~.”

“Support? Tch, what are you hiding now?” He doesn’t bother to pry Cain’s hands off of his horns, he just waits and bit by bit Cain’s grip slides, loosens and then he drops down.

“I wasn’t joking, you know! There’s a lot of getting to know each other we could do. It’s only fitting, right? Since we’re allies and comrades in arms on this journey!”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m an idiot. We’re in this together but you can’t toss around words like ‘comrades’ without having an ounce of trust for the lot of us here.”

“Without having trust. . .?” Cain echoes, “I trust you and Big Sis Leo and the crew. We would never have accomplished what we have alone. It’s working together that has been our strength!”

“I trust you with my life, as careless and stupid as you act.” Reinhardtzar isn’t a man to dance around things. He made his decisions a long time ago. He’s going to charge forward in life, meet it head on and fight for himself and those who counted on him. His men, his comrades. Even this crew, now.

His words leave Cain speechless — and for a moment Cain’s mouth works almost comically before he laughs, grins with too many of his teeth showing. “Don’t get me confused for a competent army captain like my brother! It’ll leave you disappointed and dead, in the end. What you see is what you get with me~. A little unreliable but I’m trying my best.” A more serious expression crosses his face, then, as well, “But you’re not entirely wrong either. I won’t see you or anyone else killed before me.”

“No way I’d get you confused with him, I see you right in front of me.”

“Well, that’s enough of that! Didn’t you say fresh air is the best medicine for airship sickness?” Cain spins on his heel, one hand thrown out, fingers wiggling in the air. It’s an utterly ridiculous gesture, but Reinhardtzar sees it for what it is and he sighs again.

“I thought you weren’t air sick.”

“Oops, I lied. Come on, let’s go join the others on the deck.”

Before Reinhardtzar could even respond, Cain was across the floor and already heading up the stairs.

—

The second time, he doesn’t expect Cain to listen. The battles at the Idelva border had become more intense. With every report that came in of lost ground, lost troops and lost lives, Cain becomes even more restless. It’s then that they part ways with the Skyfarers — temporarily, in a typical Cain fashion he told the captain, laughed and waved, don’t worry we’ll be back soon, this is just a small problem to solve. But the journey back was breakneck pace, they barely stopped, barely slept and by the time they had returned to Idelva even Cain couldn’t pretend he wasn’t exhausted.

“How many casualties?” Is the first thing he asks Leona. She meets Reinhardtzar’s eyes over Cain’s head and they both stay silent. Leona had told him once — protecting Cain is her job and they both understand what that means.

“I’m not telling you anything until you rest.”

“Eh? Rest? I’m fine. Isn’t it more concerning to have our borders under fire and our people lost?” Cain protests.

“And what good are you going to do anyone if you’re so tired you can’t even lift a sword?” She counters.

Cain’s hands go to the sword at his side, but they just grip the hilt. Tighter and tighter. The blade rattles in the sheath but he doesn’t draw it and then abruptly he lets go, exhales and smiles.

“Ah, you’re right. Of course. Rest first and you can debrief me first thing tomorrow. We can’t do anything less than our best in these situations.”

“Tomorrow morning,” Reinhardtzar agrees but when they go their separate ways, he doesn’t sleep. He waits at the back gate, the only one not in view of the front watchtower and exactly at the guard changing — it was something he had noticed on his first arrival. This would be the exit to use if one were to escape and this was the timing he would have counted on.

So when Cain eases the door open to slip through, Reinhardtzar easily grabs the back of his coat collar and hauls him back inside. Cain stumbles and on instinct goes to draw his sword — but just as Leona and Reinhardtzar had known earlier, the blade falls to the ground, slipping from his fingers too easily. For a moment there’s a fighting panic that Reinhardtzar’s seen in so many of his men, the realization of being cornered and Cain’s whole body tenses ready to either reach for a hidden weapon or do something entirely too desperate. But recognition flickers across his face and he hangs his head with some mock defeat. At least, Reinhardtzar is fairly certain it’s mock.

“Few hours away from ‘morning’, aren’t we?” 

“Aha~ who would have thought I’d meet you here. Surely you can’t be thinking what I am?” Cain switches tactics, and when he lifts his face the smile is conspiratorial. “What kind of people would we be if we left the Western most fort to the oncoming storm?”

“Waiting to debriefed doesn’t mean sneaking in and reading the reports yourself.”

“I can’t help it. I’ve already formulated the perfect plan.”

Reinahrdtzar doesn’t answer, but he also doesn’t let go of Cain. He waits. Cain isn’t the kind of person who can let silence sit for too long — not when he feels like he’s being interrogated. It was something he learned on their journey. Silence made Cain uncomfortable. Being judged made him speak even faster. Disappointment spurred him into action.

“It isn’t as if the plan couldn’t benefit from another body on the field. Surely, together we could solve this problem before Big Sis Leo even wakes up if we leave now.”

“I’m not in the mood to let you throw your life away.”

“It’s a fool proof plan! In the end, everyone will get to go home.” 

“You planning on coming home to us too? Don’t spew more bullshit. If you go now you’ll be a liability.” Reinhardtzar does, then, let go of him. “But if you really think you can, pick up that sword. Best me and you can do whatever you want.”

For only the second time Reinhardtzar has known him, Cain stills. He doesn’t pick up the sword, his gaze drops to the ground where it is and his words are slow and steady. “It’s rare for someone to realize that. I thought only Big Sis Leo knew.” But then he’s all movement again, waving a hand and the familiar smile spreads across his features. “I’m lucky to have a guy as strong as you offer to protect me~. Guess I’m really no match for you!”

He leaves the sword on the ground, both hands raised in surrender and heads back to his room. It has to be Reinhardtzar who picks up the blade, turns it over in his hands. He hadn’t ever inspected the weapon before — it was a constant on Cain’s person, he was certain that Cain probably slept with it at his side. It’s undeniably Torhid forging and the pommel bears a military insignia that’s all too familiar.

—

It’s strange to see Cain in a commanding role. He works so often as an independent agent, Reinhardtzar isn’t used to seeing him direct men into battle. He can tell that Cain isn’t really suited for it. His orders are firm but there’s hesitation in his expression. All of the correct decisions are made, however. Cain sends men that will die into battle and he knows it. He argues when the other generals and captains gather to discuss tactics. Tries to sway them with his own plans, his own ideas, the fact that they shouldn’t be sending the very people they want to save in as decoys. But he does the strategically sound thing, in the end.

But the men are military. Even Leona stands against him — they all knew what they were doing when they signed up to be a member of the army.

So it isn’t a surprise that when Reinhardtzar corners him later, Cain is antsy. His things are strewn about the tent, as if he had been searching for something and a to go pack sits next to the entrance. But even Cain can’t abandon an in-progress battle to follow his own whims. If the general were to disappear on the tenth day of a drawn out battle, it would certainly cause a drop in morale. An even larger loss of life. But it was clear he wants to go, to solve the problem himself, even if it’s unsolvable by a single man.

“You should have let me go.” Cain snaps, tension in his shoulders and his voice. He doesn’t even bother to greet Reinhardtzar, or play around with pleasantries that veil his true feelings. “Because you didn’t, we’re still fighting.”

“Men die in war.” Reinhardtzar answers, not bothering to defend his decisions. “We choose to fight for a reason and if it isn’t worth dying for, then you’ve got to make a space for yourself.”

“Not everyone can run away to an island.”

“Run away to an island? You’re not that stupid but say that again and even I won’t go easy on you. You want to give up on your men out there and leave them to die, then do it. You want to let another army like Torhid’s crumble and get swept under the rug by whatever politics there are? You’re the general Cain.” His lip curls in disgust. “Don’t be so selfish.”

“They’re going to die. There’s no reason for them to die. There’s no reason for any of this to have happened.” Cain squares his shoulders. “I can’t just sit around and let people die because I didn’t do everything I could.”

“It’s childish to think you can save everyone by yourself.”

“So let it be childish! I won’t carry that burden of telling their families they died when they didn’t have to!”

“Don’t run away from your men, lead them.” Reinhardtzar crosses the room and grasps the sword hilt at Cain’s waist. “Be worthy of this sword.”

It’s a cruel thing to say and he knows it. Cain’s expression is wild when he replies.

“I can’t!” His voice cracks with desperation. “I can’t ever be worth of it! I only got this position because of him in the first place. I didn’t want this position but it’s the only one which might let me save people. It’s the only thing I can do!”

“Yeah, and?”

“I can’t do this.” Cain says, quiet again. “I can’t tell him to die for decisions I made again. I won’t have them kill people they don’t need to kill. There’s too much bloodshed. There’s always too much.”

“Grow up.” Reinhardtzar isn’t angry but he talks to Cain like he would any of his subordinates, this time. “There’s things we have left to do. It’s not gonna be pleasant but it’s necessary. You wanna make this country better for people? Do you want the fighting to end? Hard choices have got to be made.”

Cain puts his hand over Reinahrdtzar’s on his sword. He shuts his eyes and takes a few deep breaths.

“All right.” That’s all he says. 

That’s all he needs to say. The battle draws out for another week. Cain doesn’t waver anymore. There’s a hard expression on his face every day, and he doesn’t joke or run away from meetings. There’s no dodging of responsibilities and to his credit, he doesn’t cry until they win. On the end of the last day he stands at the edge of the battlefield as the tents are being cleared away, war horses being led back to their stables, the dead carried away to be buried at home. It’s only after, when there’s nothing left on the ground but blood and broken weapons that he starts to cry.

It’s Reinhardtzar who tells Leona where to find him, and it’s Leona who steers him back home without saying anything.

—

The third time, they’re on the road to catch up with the skyfarers. With the matters in Idelva mostly settled and Cain too restless to stay — no one mentioned it but the way he turned his face from looking at of the other generals in the army in the eye, spent most of his time with families who had lost parents, children and siblings, it was far too obvious — Leona stayed to continue to lead their unit and Cain left. Reinhardtzar went with him, not being a member of the Idelva army and refusing to even accept the title of a contractor. His alliances wouldn’t sway him that far.

It’s slow. They stop at every village, town and farm. Cain makes nice with everyone they meet — he’s friendly and charismatic. He jokes with the locals, listens to their problems and offers advice and their services when he can. They clear monsters and bandits from more areas than Reinhardtzar can count. Despite their slow progress the pace feels frenetic.

Cain shouldn’t have lost the fight, he’s both a better swordsman and better tactician than the outlaw leader. Reinhardtzar never worries about Cain in an _actual_ fight. Despite his attitude and pacifist leanings, Cain knows how to handle a weapon. It’s only outside of fights, in the planning and lead up to a fight is he truly worrisome. But this group of outlaws had hit closer to home than the others. They were the worst kind of bullies. They killed children first, Cain had set out at dawnbreak on request from a grieving mother. 

Reinhardtzar has no issue playing the part of the muscle. He looks the part and it works out better for both of them if people think Cain is the only one with brains between the two of them. Their plan had been more simple than usual, fueled more by anger than strategy. Get in, unseat the outlaws, leave. It was unspoken that they would leave behind a trail of bodies, but Cain didn’t (he never did) address that. But during the fight, Reinhardtzar sees something unbelievable.

The outlaw leader calls out to a brother — begs to be saved and Cain’s sword hesitates. In the moment of a killing blow he stays his hand, his expression of determination broken by surprise. The outlaw’s hidden pistol sends a ball of lead straight into Cain’s side, sending him staggering back. Reinhardtzar tosses his own opponent to the side, fists tearing through other outlaws as Cain clumsily holds his sword up in defense. It won’t be enough. His blade is fast but not fast enough to overcome the element of surprise, the surge of blood that flows down his clothes or his own shock at being played so easily. 

“Don’t think I don’t know you, general of Idelva. Someone spilled a secret of yours.” The outlaw taunts.

Reinhardtzar doesn’t hesitate. His first blow breaks something deep in the outlaw’s ribs, the familiar crunch of bone and give of flesh tells him he’s hit an already near-fatal blow. And his second punch seals the deal, connecting with the other’s nose, cheekbones, and skull. It’s not a clean death, not like the one Cain would have delivered with a strike of the sword. Instead the outlaw will drown on his own blood, the shards of bone pushed into his brain not deep enough to instantly kill him. But Reinhardtzar is well practiced in the art of killing people, he knew exactly how hard he’d have to hit.

“Aha~, you really are an unbelievably strong guy. . .!” Cain tries to joke from the ground where he had sat down, or fallen. One hand is pressed to his side, the other still gripping his sword tightly. “Looks like I messed up a little…”

“Just who are you trying to save?” He pries Cain’s fingers from the sword, re-sheaths it with care. He doesn’t bother asking about the wound because no matter how severe it is, Cain will never be honest about it. “The children are already dead.”

“I was just thinking. . . about Big Sis Leo’s wonderful pie, see, and got a little distracted. . .” Cain offers up a weak excuse.

“The dead can’t atone for anything and they can’t save anything.” Reinhardtzar interrupts, bluntly, eases an arm under Cain and lifts him up. “For someone so smart you’re pretty dumb about this.”

“I’ll walk back, this is far too embarrassing — “ Cain blusters, “And you really don’t have to say something so cruel — “

“Just shut up.”

“It barely even hurts, see — “ Cain continues, “I’d really rather you not so.”

“Think about that before you get yourself shot again.” Reinhardtzar retorts with a snort. “I’m not traveling along with you for some Idelva related reason. Or because it’s ‘the right thing to do’. I can find my own way back to the airship and that unusual captain.”

“Don’t treat me like someone to be protected.” Cain snaps, after some silence. His breath catches and Reinhardtzar doesn’t know if it’s because of the bullet lodged in him, or because it’s a sore topic. Still. “I won’t forgive you if you keep doing it. Big Sis Leo’s excused, she’s that big sisterly type. . . and even then I’d rather she not. She’s not who she used to be. . .”

“Tch. And I’m the type who was going to be king.”

“. . . her majesty and I get along, since she’s also the troublesome type.” Cain says quietly in response to that, “Remember, you asked me what kind of Lord I would serve. . .?”

Reinhardtzar grunts in acknowledgment, waiting for him to continue. But Cain falls silent instead. It’s Reinhardtzar who has to speak up, “Did you decide yet?”

Cain laughs, and then winces and makes an exaggerated ‘ouch’. “I’ll let you know when I do.”

—

It’s Cain who eventually brings it up next. They stand side by side, overlooking yet another kingdom and another country and another army that marches off into the sunset. It isn’t their country, this isn’t their army and really, it isn’t their problem. Reinhardtzar refuses to pick up a sword for an unknown sovereign, but Cain of course has already made promises.

“You don’t need to stay.” He offers and grins, “You already refused the King~”

“And face Leona to tell her I left you behind?” Reinhardtzar huffs. 

“Eh~ I thought you were staying for my sake! I would really appreciate the gesture, after all. It’s nice to know there’s someone I can count on at my back.”

“I won’t fight for this idiot king.”

“I’d leave, if you wanted to.” Cain’s smile falters a little. “But I’m telling you, my plan is exactly what we need. Once the armies engage we can head off and solve a few problems and everything will turn out perfectly. I’d rather we went now, but there’s no way to get into that fort unless the soldiers are otherwise occupied. I wonder if being around you has been a bad influence! But it’s not like I didn’t know it, not everyone can be saved. But we can try to save most of them.”

“You wouldn’t leave, you liar.”

“So, you’re staying for me, then?”

“Don’t get a big ego over it.”

Cain starts to laugh a little. He leans back, rocks on his heels and stretches, fingers reaching up into the sky, grasping at nothing.

“I’m glad you’re here with me, can I say that? Haha, don’t worry~ it’s nothing too heavy to hear right? Let’s get going, there’s work to be done!”

—

Neither of them plans for it, but after another battle, another trip on an unknown airship, another report that they were still one step behind the skyfarers sent them tumbling together on the cargo floor of a freight ship. It’s better than the ships that go on water, Reinhardtzar feels, there’s something more comforting about being in the air than the sea — but Cain feels the exact opposite. He doesn’t sleep well and is restless on his feet.

“You realize, traveling with that captain means more airships.” Reinhardtzar finally says, as Cain traverses the entire length of the floor again.

“Ah! But the company will be different. Surely that captain will be welcoming and friendly~ the food will be better too. Their smiling faces will carry me through hard times.” Cain spreads his arms wide, but when he reaches Reinhardtzar’s side of the cargo bay he flops down — outright sprawls. He’s not quite on top of Reinhardtzar entirely, just an arm, his head, half of his back.

“Oi.” Reinhardtzar can only bring himself to halfway protest.

“Not that you’re not good company, but it makes me feel a little inadequate, you know. I can’t compete in the body building arena at all.”

“Are you even trying to?”

“Can’t you take a compliment?”

“Is that a compliment?”

Cain sighs and scoots himself further onto Reinhardtzar’s lap. “I was going to keep extorting you, to make full use of your body but it seems like I might be the one who owes you now.” Reinhardtzar leans down a little, curling slightly over Cain and studies his face. The grin is gone but there’s still something entirely unreadable about his expression.

“Can’t even ask for it seriously, can you?” 

“I am being serious! Isn’t it obvious?” 

“For you, it’s pretty unsubtle.” Reinhardtzar agrees. “So, gonna continue that train of thought?”

“I don’t think either of us wants to hear _that_.” Cain says, almost soberly and again he thinks one step further than Reinhardtzar. Instead of letting the other respond, he wraps his fingers around his horns (for the second time, since they’ve known each other) and pulls down. It’s not exactly a smooth gesture. Reinhardtzar balks a little, but doesn’t pull back, letting Cain tug him down closer. Their lips don’t quite meet like they should, Reinhardtzar is too tall and Cain has situated himself too enough into his lap for the kiss to really work out. But it’s enough. Reinhardtzar doesn’t need Cain to pull him down, then, he curls even further down, folding over Cain.

Neither of them says anything else. Cain doesn’t let go of Reinhardtzar’s horns, he tightens his hold and even after the kiss ends only reluctantly letting go when Reinhardtzar starts to straighten up. With a huff — either of laughter of exasperation, for once it’s Reinhardtzar who’s difficult to read — he sits up, but also easily tugs Cain closer to him. They settle like that. Cain unable to let his restlessness carry him for more needless pacing, not with one of Reinhardtzar’s arms looped around him.

—

They continue to not talk about it. Cain is more insistent, quicker to cut off anything Reinhardtzar says that might relate to it with a kiss, an insistent tug, twining his hands in the sash around Reinhardtzar’s waist and making a joke. His favorite ones are to ask if Draphs were big all around, if Reinhardtzar wanted to go jogging with him, if he’ll grow any taller if he drinks more milk. It’s all at once annoying and endearing.

It isn’t that Reinhardtzar doesn’t see right through it, but he still hasn’t formulated a plan of attack. Cain’s too clever to get caught in his own plots, especially when it revolves around protecting something.

They are one day away from the skyfarers, reuniting with the crew that they had left to solve the matters in Idelva when Reinhardtzar makes his move. The inn they chose to stay at is quiet, a little out of the way and overlooks the ocean. It’s picturesque and a little too prim and pat for his tastes, but Cain persuades him saying it will be a great place to catch any gossip. That is, any word if there’s some injustice in this city as well. If anyone is in danger of dying, of being unprotected or left behind.

The room was perfect, however. With only a small window that not even Cain’s trickster frame could slip out of and one door, Reinhardtzar put his plan into motion. He places himself in front of the door after they’re both inside.

“Cain.”

The mood is too easy to read, and Cain’s eyes slide around the room, realizing the trap.

“You’re going to make things too serious, looking like that. Shouldn’t we be thinking of the journey tomorrow? Trouble follows that airship — or maybe it’s that they’re trouble! Without the proper beauty sleep we’ll be in poor appearances for that crew.” He tries.

“Sorry for cornering you like this, but you’re not gonna be truthful unless I do.” Reinhardtzar crosses his arms. “Is this a game to you? Another of your ploys? I like you, under all of that you’re honest and following your own stupid honor rules. I didn’t travel with you for no reason. I’m not too proud to say it either. I said it when we first met, I’ve already lost a lot and it isn’t like you didn’t have me lose even more. That was a future I was going to have for me and my men. But you saved us too. Death or my own future, those were the only choices I gave myself then. But now I’ll take the choices of death, my future and our future.”

“Now who’s being roundabout —“ Cain interjects, laughs, keeps his tone light, but the smile wavers under the weight of his more serious expression.

“I don’t believe in the corrupt world, but I believe in you. Plain as that. Are you afraid to hear it, that I love you?”

Reinhardtzar knows, he’s known all along, that Cain didn’t want to hear it. Despite Reinahrdtzar’s memory of Abel — the brothers shared some traits, the same eyes, they drew a sword the same way, they both cared a little too much for those they felt responsible for — Cain was an entirely different person. Where Abel had been confident, unashamed and open, Cain is bravado, guilty and closed.

“Afraid. . .? Haha. . . wouldn’t that make me some kind of terrible person? I have to say, I’d never want to reject you, but this is really unexpected. . .!” 

“I’ll wait until you have a better answer.” Reinhardtzar doesn’t fear rejection, but he knows Cain better than that. Even from the first moment they met, Cain had been one half easy to read and one half inscrutable. “Have some courage.”

“I would have thought that you already knew.” Cain slowly starts, his smile splits into something far more bitter. “Isn’t it obvious? Even if you want to believe in me, that’s something you shouldn’t do. It shouldn’t be me standing here.”

“Are you still thinking about that? Rushing towards your death?”

“I killed my brother.” Cain interrupts what would be Reinhardtzar’s anger. “So, it should be him here, not me. It should be him with Big Sis Leo. . . the general of the Idelva army should be him. You can’t tell me that he wouldn’t make a better general.”

Reinhardtzar can’t. Abel had been a military man. A man with a good heart, but not the same kind of fragility that Cain has when it comes to leading men to their deaths. Abel had been an inspiration to his men, and it was unlikely that those who serve under Cain are completely unable to read him. It’s undoubtedly true. Cain is not the general that Abel was and would have been.

“See? I’ll admit to it. . . it’s nice to think about doing nothing but traveling with you. Maybe helping out that crew is just because I don’t want to go back to that battlefield. Surely you already knew I was a coward.”

“And how did you kill your brother?”

“The same way you’ll end up if we continue down this road, see? And that’s not something I’m going to let happen. I decided it. Just like how you won’t believe in this corrupt world, I won’t lose anyone else and I will do what I can so no one else has to lose anyone too.” 

Reinhardtzar raises an eyebrow first, then grins, and then laughs. Cain is surprised, mouth dropping open a little at that response.

“Idiot. Don’t make my choices for me.”

“Haven’t you heard anything I said — “

“I’m not going to die for you. Your brother’s not here anymore, sorry for saying it, but I don’t think he’d appreciate you trying to die for him either. You can’t save the dead.”

That stops Cain fully. He’s still, shoulders stiff and expression distant. After a long moment he moves, hand dropping to the sword at his waist.

“It’s my fault.”

“You want to say he didn’t make his choice?”

“It wasn’t the right choice.” Cain drops his gaze, hangs his head. He grips his sword hilt so hard that his knuckles turn red and then white. Everything about his posture is misplaced anger and too much grief that hasn’t faded.

“Losing people never feels real. It never feels any better. Maybe he’d be a better general, but you’re the one here and the one I want here with me. What do you want?”

“. . . it’s been a long time since I’ve lost so completely.” Then he lifts his face. The smile is wry, too self-deprecating and the beginning of tears show at the corners of his eyes. “Is this revenge for Merkmal?”

Reinhardtzar snorts and finally moves away from the door, striding over to Cain in only two steps. “Might be able to call each other even, now.”

It’s muffled, because Cain buries his face in Reinhardtzar, leaning without hugging because he still hasn’t let go of his sword. But Reinhardtzar hears the answer just as well, “Yeah, I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> The working title for this fic was "Five Times Cain Avoided Talking About Feelings And One Time He Continued to Try To Avoid Talking About Feelings".
> 
> I also couldn't help the meta jokes about airship/seaship sorry it was funny to me at the time. 
> 
> This is the longest thing I've written in a while, I can't believe I've been ruined by Grindball Fantasy.


End file.
